When Winter Closes In - A Practical Application of the Gospel

A practice in preaching the gospel to myself...

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So, you are a twenties-something believer who finds yourself in a tiny church full of octogenarians and baby Christians, in a small community beset by poverty of every kind.  This is probably not what you grew up thinking your life would be.  You thought it might involve marriage, a family, a cute home, a mature church full of like-minded believers who were passionate about Jesus and his gospel. Not one of those items can be entirely checked off.  Still, you know God wants you here.  He affirmed the decision in a hundred different ways.  He cared for your soul so tenderly through multiple means.  You can look back on good days in which it was effortless to be grateful, to pursue ministry.  But the winter is closing in on your soul.  Discomfort makes you wonder “Why am I here?”  How easy to foster that seed of discontentment by musing about the life depicted in your Pinterest boards.  There might even be godly elements to that Utopia, but it is not truly a godly life because you have become the center of it, the definer of it.  You may sing “To God Be the Glory” but your heart’s cry is to declare your will and desires paramount to his.

Here is what you need, soul:  You need to hope in God, your exceeding joy –true and unchanging.  You need to remember again that you have not been destined to wrath but have obtained salvation in the death of the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thess. 5:9-10).  Remember, soul, that Christ gave up his heavenly throne to subject himself to the trials and suffering of earth for you –and for the glory of his Father.  He did not take in the best this world had to offer as some spoiled foreign dignitary.  If he would abandon such riches, what makes you think you are entitled to them?  If Christ, who is the Head, gave up his very life, why do you expect to fill yours with worldly trinkets?  And that is what they are – trinkets.  It is not like the Father is asking you to renounce all for something worse.  No!  He offers the glory of eternal life in his presence!  He offers “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” in Christ (Eph. 1)!  Take a moment to soak that in.  Think about what it would be like for the Queen of England to offer you access to all her homes, all her money, all her travel perks, all her V.I.P. priority –but you must first spend fifty years promoting the Crown in a remote, Scottish town.  You would happily consent because fifty years of serving in a non-ideal place would seem a mere moment as you consider the allure of all the royal grandeur to come.  Soul!  That is what you have!  And Christ bought it for you with his blood!

Jesus died to redeem your soul from the pit, to entitle you to his divine inheritance, and to strengthen you to persevere in day-to-day life.  Even if that life isn’t your ideal, do not despair!  Instead, remember that the wise Father ordained a purpose of this season.  Besides, your ideal is only a shadow of what your heart really longs for and will have in eternity with Jesus. “To God be the glory, great things he hath done!  So loved he the world that he gave us his Son.”  Praise the Lord, soul.  Praise the Lord!

2012 Christmas Letter

I realize I'm quite behind in actually publishing this on the blog. I was just so thrilled to get the hard copies mailed before the end of 2012, I didn't think much about anything else. So, without further ado... 

 "...take root downward and bear fruit upward." (Isaiah 37:31) 
Dear family and friends, 
The verse above is just a snippet from the encouraging, prophetic word God gave Isaiah for King Hezekiah when the mighty Assyrian army stood at his door. Ultimately, Hezekiah did nothing to defeat the Assyrians. He prayed, and God brought the victory. His is a story of self-sufficient failure, repentance, prayer, and God’s faithful response. His is a story like mine. Dependence was my big learning scheme for 2012, and I know it will continue into the rest of my life. Like a plant requires sustenance outside of itself to flourish, as much as I want to grow into Christ’s likeness and bear fruit for his Kingdom, I am entirely inept apart from the gracious cultivation of my heavenly Father. 

There is a multitude of arenas in which God is teaching me the delight of dependence. Most of the time, my lessons look a lot like ordinary, everyday life as I ask the Lord to help me pursue the people around me diligently, love them sincerely, respond to them graciously, teach my students wisely, coach my volleyball team effectively, lead the women’s study faithfully, and serve my local church discerningly. But I’m desperate for the Lord in more than just my interaction with others. My need is so much deeper. All of those actions mean nothing if they are not motivated and fueled by the work of Christ in his life, death, resurrection, and ascension. Joy comes in him. So I’m desperate for him to help me love and know him more completely, to feel the weight of the gospel more keenly, to understand truth more fully, to pray more faithfully. Some days I’m desperate for his help to simply press my roots into his Word. That’s the most important lesson of dependence: recognizing that when Jesus says we can do nothing apart from him, he really means nothing –not even the routine stuff of our everyday lives. And we can't just walk around with this vague idea of our need for God. We actually have to do the depending and ask him for help. 

Apart from the everyday, 2012 also brought some unique moments of Dependence 101 as God allowed me to see a bit of the world. International travel has a way of forcing dependence because everything is so unfamiliar that even accomplishing the most basic functions is literally a divine miracle. Here are a few highlights of God’s grace towards me around the globe:

• Bangkok, Thailand: Leia and I had 45 minutes to get from our international flight terminal, through the massive airport (including the Customs line), to our domestic flight terminal. We knew ahead of time it might be tricky, so we were praying before we left. God sent a Thai officer to put us through the Customs line for Thai citizens, so our wait went from 45 minutes to 10. The Lord also delayed our domestic flight to provide even more time. 
• London, England: I was getting on the train to catch my flight out but the train was very delayed. I returned to the stationmaster -half panicking, half praying- to get an alternative route. He directed me to the other side of the platform. By mistake, I had initially got on the platform for the westbound train, when I needed the eastbound train. Had God not brought a very timely delay to redirect my steps, I would’ve lost a lot of time and probably missed my flight... 
• Venice, Italy: Dani and I got stranded on the outskirts of the city so we had to find our way, in the dark, back to the city center. There are no street lights because there are no streets, and Venice isn’t really known for its safety. That's when I started praying. God soon provided a large, loud group of English-speaking visitors in the same predicament. One of them was a New Yorker who looked a lot like Kevin James from “The King of Queens.” I felt quite safe. 

I appreciate all the opportunities to visit new places and experience different cultures, but my travels only highlighted the fact that the greatest blessings, at home or abroad, come in experiencing God's faithfulness and spending time with his people. My time in Thailand was sweet because it was time spent with two dear sisters in the faith who help me press on in Jesus. My time in England was precious because it was time spent with brothers and sisters in Christ who took me in and allowed me to live life with them even though I was a complete stranger. They are now the dearest of friends. Only God can create fellowship like that. Only the gospel can unite people, in spite of their sinfulness and all the problems it causes, and make them a powerful testimony for Jesus. Another part of depending on God is depending on the gospel community into which he saves his children. That sometimes means wading into the mess of life and taking some hits. Frankly, I sometimes want to shy away from the hurt. But I know God designed his life-changing love to be displayed in the Christ-created harmony of his people. In Christ, he has guaranteed its ultimate success, and we can be sure he will redeem all the wounds we may incur in the process.

In the face of a new year, I can only pray God will continue to grow my dependence on him so that my joy will be even more complete. I pray that same dependence and joy for you. As we rely on the Lord, the delight comes when he shows his faithfulness and goodness again and again. As we take our baby steps of obedience, he meets us with great strides of grace. 

May the God who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” shine in your hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. (1 Cor 4:6) 

Joyfully sustained by his profound sufficiency, 
Cristi 




From 2012...  
Things to read: Gospel Wakefulness • Everyday Church • The Worst Hard Time • Cook’s Illustrated 
Things to eat & drink: French apple cake • homemade pasta • brioche aux amandes bostock • pad see ew • strong Yorkshire tea with cream and sugar • real gelato • Thai tea • baked eggs Florentine • Bobby Flay’s grilled shrimp scampi • Yorkshire puddings • Branston Pickle • legit Italian eggplant parmigiana 
Things to hear: Ligon Duncan’s “The Underestimated God” • Russell Moore’s “Acting the Miracle Together” • Kevin DeYoung’s “Bread and Wine” • other talks from T4G and DG 2012 Moments to remember: the timeline above plus… time with my niece and nephews • a summer coffee date with Leia • eternal conversations with my volleyball players • tying quilts with Grandma Jan • family movie nights and game days • a fall lunch with Kendal & an afternoon studying at the coffee shop 

For 2013... 
Things to read: The Best-Kept Secret of Christian Mission • Gospel Deeps • Calvin’s Institutes •Boenhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy • Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer • Kingdom Through Covenant • The Anxious Dragon: China's New Middle Class • Where Am I Wearing 
Things to eat & drink: chocolate-espresso dacquoise • saag paneer • more Yorkshire tea with cream and sugar • master venison so it doesn’t taste like venison • tikka masala • your recommendations for good recipes 
Moments to make: more time with my niece and nephews plus the arrival of a new one • women’s community study of 1 John • watching students blossom • family history project • marriages of many beloved friends

2011 Christmas Letter

My dear family and friends,
At the end of this letter, you’ll find the lyrics of John Newton’s hymn “I Asked the Lord.” I include them because their poetry and poignancy beautifully express my heart theme for 2011. As I processed the struggles of the past and the constant bumps of life in general, each day seemed to illuminate a different facet of the last verse: “These inward trials I employ from self and pride to set thee free and break thy schemes of earthly joy, that thou mayest seek thy all in Me.” Little by little, in the persistent, loving lessons of my faithful Father, the Great and Gentle Teacher, I am beginning to see the beauty of suffering –however it may look, whatever the severity may be.

Last year highlighted a deeper understanding of the first half of the stanza: suffering makes me more like Christ, setting me free of my deceptively deep pride and selfishness. Passages like Hebrews 12:3-11 and James 1:2-4 became personal realities. This year, the emphasis was, and continues to be, on the latter half, which can be summed up in one word: expectation.

The Lord knows that as much as I claim Christ as my all, as much as I declare him to be sufficient, I spend far too many of my moments expecting satisfaction from “earthly joys”: comfort, financial stability, vocational success, health, marriage, approval, fulfilled plans. The list goes on. And no item on the list is wrong or sinful in and of itself. Rather, they are all good things. But they are temporal. Vapor. And so, they aren’t the best thing. In the words of C.S. Lewis, I’m “like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because [I] cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. [I am] far too easily pleased.” But that’s just it –nearly all my attempts to make merry with these earth-bound mud pies have ended in disappointment. I have yet to discover any ultimate pleasure in those endeavors. And, again, the problem is not in health or marriage, or any other “earthly joy.” The problem is that such expectations run the great risk of quickly becoming obstructions in my vision of God and his Kingdom. They are constantly in competition for my affections. And when I place my highest affections on an earthly joy, God is no longer the object of my worship. The only One worthy of those affections is replaced by terribly inferior and ineffective substitutes.

While I learned all this years ago, only now have I come to realize that I actually set myself up for suffering when I expect to find satisfaction in someone or something other than God. In his great kindness, my Father must break those false hopes to reset my focus on him, the only unchanging Source of true and lasting joy.

I’m so grateful 2011 brought this deeper understanding of my own frailty. Even so, I know I cannot whip up a remedy to bring immediate and complete change. No, such change will only come by the grace of God as I continue to commit every moment and every day to dependence on the Holy Spirit, fervently asking that Paul’s words to the Corinthians would be proven in me, that I may genuinely say: “On him I have set my hope” (2 Cor 1:10). And I must pray for grace to rest fully on the profound truth of Proverbs 30:5, living in its promises.

As you move toward a new year, I pray you will see Ephesians 1:15-23 reflected by your life in ways far more abundant than anything you could ask or think. And if “the eyes of your heart” are not yet “enlightened”, I pray this will be the year you see Christ in all his beauty and glory and that it will bring you to your knees in genuine repentance and faith.

Joyfully pressing on by grace to hope entirely in him,
Cristi



2011 praises
-a January course in KY with a new favorite prof: Dr. Allison
-a North Carolinian holiday
-aunthood with Jack, Hallee, and Charlie
-a full summer of travels, classes, weddings, and lake trips
-a fruitful women’s spring study
-Antholz girls’ Denver trip to see Broadway’s Lion King
-The Prodigal God by Tim Keller
-music by Gungor
-a refreshing fall semester of teaching
-Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand
-“In Feast or Fallow” by Sandra McCracken
-Molten Chocolate Lava Cakes
-culinary experiments like butternut squash soup & borscht

2012 prayers
-a Thailand trip with my dear friend Leia to visit our dear friend Rachel
-aunthood with Jack, Hallee, Charlie, and Henry
-making blankets with Grandma Jan
-studying The Prodigal God with community ladies
-graduating from SBTS in May
-living out Philippians 1:27 more faithfully
-a new season of teaching, more saturated in the Father’s wisdom and love than ever before
-continued explorations on the piano and in the kitchen
-more game nights with family and friends
-a life marked by steadfast prayer

The Chimes of Normandy: A Heartfelt Thank You from the Great Depression

I found Ernestine Guerrero’s poignant story in the introduction of Robert Cohen’s Dear Mrs. Roosevelt: Letters from Children of the Great Depression. The discovery was like uncovering a long-lost treasure in the attic –one of those nostalgic mementos from childhood that remind you of all that is innocent and lovely and good. And like a first-grade poem or junior high medal, Guerrero’s story doesn’t really hold great significance in the grand scheme of history. But the character behind it is admirable, indeed, and worth sharing. The humility with which this poor girl gave only makes the gift that much sweeter -and, you can be sure, what she lacked in material resources she made up in diligent excellence.

This is the story of how young Ernestine Guerrero used something crude and ugly, a testament of the grim days in which she lived, to build something intricate and beautiful, a testament of the integrity by which she lived:

Ernestine Guerrero, the daughter of an unemployed carpenter, came of age in San Antonio, Texas, during the Great Depression. She was not one of the movers and shakers of American history, but merely one of millions of youths who grew up poor during the nation's worst economic crisis. It is not surprising, then, that Guerrero's name fails to appear in history books on the Great Depression, the New Deal, and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. Although historians have taken no notice of Guerrero, a piece of her historical experience has been preserved by the Franklin D. Roosevelt Library and Museum in Hyde Park, New York. On display is Guerrero's large wooden sculpture of a clock case, "The Chimes of Normandy," and the letter she sent along with it to President Roosevelt in 1937. The sculpture, which Guerrero began working upon during her late teens, consists of 156 pieces and reflects long and skillful wood-carving work. Guerrero's letter to the president explained that it took her a year of working with a coping saw to develop her carving skills sufficiently to begin shaping the clock case and another year to complete this fret work sculpture. But it is less the craftsmanship of the sculpture than Guerrero's circumstances, materials, and motivations that make so memorable her decision to work on it and send it to the president. She offered this gift to FDR in gratitude for the assistance that New Deal dollars had provided to her impoverished family. Guerrero had gathered the materials for her sculpture from the wooden boxes in which her family's food relief had come during the hardest times of the Depression. She wrote to FDR that her sculpture was the outcome of her desire to show her appreciation by creating "something pretty" to give him "out of those boxes" of federal food aid, which had meant so much to her and her family. "This is the best I have ever done in my life," Guerrero wrote. "I know that you have many pretty things, but please accept and keep this piece of work from a poor girl that doesn't have anything, also to show you how much we admire you . . . as a man of great ideals and a big heart towards humanity."

"The Chimes of Normandy" and Guerrero's letter to the president attest that impoverished young people in Depression America could be eloquent and even artistic in expressing their response to the crisis of their times. They suggest that youth was no barrier to serious concern and thought about the economic crisis, poverty, and the New Deal's expansion of federal aid to the needy—and that one might learn much about the meaning of the Depression by listening to the voices of its young victims. The problem, of course, is how to get at those voices which have now faded in the more than half a century that has passed since the Great Depression ended. (Cohen, 3-5)

The Humanity of Christ

The humanity of Jesus is evident in his physical body, mind, and emotions. Scripture describes him as being thoroughly human, and the perspective of those who encountered or spent time with him throughout his entire life further adds to the case.

The physical body of Jesus can be examined in his birth, development, and daily life. Jesus was born into this world as every other human is (Luke 2:6-7). The innkeeper saw a pregnant Mary come to his stable. The shepherds saw an un-pregnant Mary with an infant (Luke 2:16). In fact, the sign the angel gave to them was a swaddled baby in a manger, not a human-appearing baby god (Luke 2:12). Eight days after Jesus was born, Simeon held him and blessed him (Luke 2:28-32). When he was no more than two years old, the wise men also saw him and worshiped (Matt 3:11). In all of this, there are no accounts of a suspiciously divine aura around the baby, regardless of such depictions painted during the Renaissance. There is no reason to believe that those who saw and knew Jesus in his early years saw, in his physicality, anything but an ordinary baby –ten fingers, ten toes, messy diapers, snotty nose, and all.

The humanity of Jesus continued in the way he grew and developed like all humans. Luke acknowledges this in reference to the period of time from birth to age twelve, and again from age twelve to adulthood (Luke 2:40, 52). Sandwiched in between these two verses is the narrative of Christ teaching in the temple as a boy. Here is another account of the ordinary perspective people had of Jesus. His own parents are astonished at his teaching in the temple and they do not understand his reference to do his Father’s work (Luke 2:48-49). This dynamic seems inconsistent with the Doc.Etism view that Jesus was not really human. If he was only deity in the appearance of humanity, his parents would surely recognize a difference between him and their other children. With such a distinction in mind, especially in conjunction with the angelic prophecies made of him and his conception itself, surely doing his Father’s work by teaching in the temple would be no great shock. Instead, the very presence of Joseph and Mary’s surprise appears to argue the point that Christ was quite human.

Jesus’s entire earthly existence was marked by his humanity. After he fasted in the wilderness, he experienced the very fleshly insight of hunger (Matt 4:2). He was acquainted with the weariness of travel, evidenced by his rest by the well in Samaria (John 4:6). He also took naps and sought solitude to rest (Mark 4:38; Matt 14:22-23). In his last days, the limitation of his strength is displayed in his inability to carry his cross (Luke 23:26). And on the cross, Jesus was thirsty (John 19:28). Ultimately, Christ’s physical humanity was shown by his death (Luke 23:46). Blood and water are released when the soldier pierces his side (Luke 19:34).

Jesus had a human mind. Just as his body went through the normal stages of physical development, so also his mind went through the normal stages of cognitive development. Luke writes that he “increased in wisdom” (Luke 2:52). The author of Hebrews conveys Christ’s growth in obedience (Heb 5:8-9). The human limitation of his mind while on earth is further shown in his lack of knowledge about the day of his second coming (Mark 13:32). If he only appeared to be human, his divine omniscience would surely not be restricted.

The emotion of Jesus also displays his humanity. His heart is often described by his interactions with people. Jesus had many relationships –from acquaintance to intimate friend. He loved Lazarus and mourned his death (John 11:3, 35). He was also grieved by the heartache of those mourning for Lazarus (John 11:33). Christ’s beloved disciple and closest friend was John (John 13:23). And Jesus loved the rich young ruler in what is, presumably, the first time they meet (Mark 10:21). Similarly, he had compassion on the harassed, helpless, and hungry crowds he encountered as he traveled (Matt 9:36, 14:14, 15:32). Jesus was both grieved and angered by hard hearts in the synagogue (Mark 3:5). And he was indignant with the disciples when they rebuke the children (Mark 10:14). The faith of the centurion caused him to marvel, as well as the unbelief of his hometown (Luke 7:9; Mark 6:6). He declared his distress over his unaccomplished task of judgment (Luke 12:50). Jesus spoke truth for his joy and for the joy of others’ (John 15:11, 17:13). He was deeply troubled when prayed at Gethsemane before his death (Matt 27:37). But the author of Hebrews explains that the joy of the future fruits of his affliction help him endure the cross (Heb 12:2).

As previously discussed in Jesus’s birth and development, those who knew him did not recognize anything extraordinary about his human life. Later in his life his neighbors joined the club. Though his ministry in Galilee included great healing and popularity, the community of Nazareth did not accept him. Rather, the Evangelist writes of their rapid-fire inquiry, which speaks volumes of their perception of his ordinariness. They marveled at his wisdom and works. Their brains could not move past his modest woodworking background. They knew his earthly, human mother. They knew his earthly, human brothers and sisters. All they knew about his first thirty years plus all they saw in his adult ministry did not add up. John writes that his brothers did not even recognize his deity during his life and ministry (John 7:5).

In addition to the Gospel accounts of Jesus’s humanity, the later epistles also attest to this doctrine. Paul tells Timothy that Jesus was manifested in the flesh (1 Tim 3:16). John speaks of Christ as the Word become flesh, dwelling among them (John 1:14). And he begins his first epistle by stating that Jesus Christ was heard, seen, and touched –all very human attributes (1 John 1:1). Later in the epistle he re-affirms Christ’s humanity but telling his readers the mark of the Spirit is the confession of Christ come in the flesh (1 John 4:2-3). All biblical accounts of Jesus’s life display that he was fully God and fully man. Indubitably.