When You Know the Plague of Your Own Heart

1 Kings 8:37-40
When there is famine in the land, pestilence or blight or mildew, locusts or grasshoppers; when their enemy besieges them in the land of their cities; whatever plague or whatever sickness there is; whatever prayer, whatever supplication is made by anyone, or by all Your people Israel, when each one knows the plague of his own heart, and spreads out his hands toward this temple: then hear in heaven Your dwelling place, and forgive, and act, and give to everyone according to all his ways, whose heart You know (for You alone know the hearts of all the sons of men), that they may fear You all the days that they live in the land which You gave to our fathers.

Last Thursday in my time with the Lord, I read King Solomon’s dedication prayer for the temple, and this passage was one of the sections which really resonated in my heart; specifically, the phrase “when each one knows the plague of his own heart.” I’m typically an ESV advocate, but in this case the wording of the NKJV was more effective at powerfully getting the point across to me. My heart is more than “afflicted” with sin -it’s “plagued” with it. And as soon as I read that word, some flicker of acknowledgement crossed my mind, but I didn’t quite know what to do with it. So, I was greatly encouraged by Solomon’s dedication and went on with my day.

Little did I know how much my Lord would make that phrase painfully real to me. By the end of the day, I knew my heart’s plague of selfishness more acutely than ever before. The first conviction was that which I shared in the previous blog, “Pray First.” But that was only the beginning. The offenses just kept piling up: a selfish prayer request, selfish concern for my own agenda -on multiple occasions, and others. I was so disgusted with my own wretchedness! Yet, at the same time, this “plague insight” caused me to cling to the grace of my Lord all the more. It made the death and resurrection of my Savior all the sweeter!

It occurred to me that more than 2000 years earlier, when Solomon prayed “when each one knows the plague of his own heart”, he had been praying for me. King Solomon, the son of David and wisest of all men, had been praying for Cristi Marie Antholz. What a humbling realization! And how awesome is my Sovereign Lord to ordain such prayers!?! While I praise God for the encouraging blessing of this direct, concrete connection to the Old Testament, I am reminded of and strengthened even more by Jesus’ prayers for me. At Gethsemane, King Jesus, the Son of the Living God and Wisest of all, prayed for me -and even now at the Throne of Grace, He continues to intercede on my behalf.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
a great High Priest, whose name is Love,
who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
my name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
no tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
and tells me of the guilt within,
upward I look, and see him there
who made an end of all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died,
my sinful soul is counted free;
for God, the Just, is satisfied
to look on him and pardon me.

Behold him there! the risen Lamb!
My perfect, spotless Righteousness,
the great unchangeable I AM,
the King of glory and of grace!

One with himself, I cannot die;
my soul is purchased by his blood;
my life is hid with Christ on high,
with Christ, my Savior and my God.

Dear brothers and sisters, it is good that we should know the plague in our hearts, for such knowledge sends us to our knees before the Lord in helpless confession. Such knowledge makes us to treasure His Grace…to weep in thankfulness for Christ’s sacrifice…to marvel at the prayers of those who have gone before us…and to praise the One who forever intercedes on our behalf. May your plagues turn you to the foot of the Cross!

Pray First

This morning I was prayer journaling for a friend, and I realized, once again, how selfish I am. The sin issue for which she had asked me to pray was one that I had recognized in her prior to our discussion this week. And we had talked about it before. However, I realized that when I first noticed it, my initial thought processes were about how much those mannerisms were "unbecoming" on my friend, and how much they made her not as fun to be around. My thoughts could pretty much be melted down to how much her sin issue was an imposition to me. As I journaled to the Lord for her, I was convicted that I'd handled the situation in an unloving manner. The first thing I should have done when I noticed this area of sin in her life was pray for her. Not think about it for a week, not talk about it with other believers, or anything else...just take her to the throne of Grace. Out of all of those initial reactions, prayer is the only one of any benefit. Prayer alone is the action honorable to my friend -and the Lord. I know rebuking might be a later step, but I'm convinced it all needs to begin with prayer. So I have purposed, by the grace of God, to first respond to my friends' sin by covering them in prayer, not wallowing in selfish pity.

I sought him, but I found him not.

The following is today's morning entry from C.H. Spurgeon's Morning and Evening. I've underlined/bolded the parts which were most convicting to me. How is it that I do not watch my Savior every moment for fear of losing sight of Him? I'm afraid I'm far too easily distracted by the things of this world. Oh, that my focus would be fervently fixed on Christ! Jonathan L. Graf shares the story of his grandfather having such a great love for the Lord that when his mind wandered from the present -it wandered to God! What blessed communion!

"I sought him, but I found him not." Song of Solomon 3:1

Tell me where you lost the company of Christ, and I will tell you the most likely place to find him. Have you lost Christ by refraining from prayer? Then it is there you must seek and find him. Did you lose Christ by sinning? You will find Christ in no other way but by the giving up of the sin, and seeking by the Holy Spirit to mortify the member in which the lust doth dwell. Did you lose Christ by neglecting the Scriptures? You must find Christ in the Scriptures. It is a true proverb, "Look for a thing where you dropped it, it is there." So look for Christ where you lost him, for he has not gone away. But it is hard work to go back for Christ. Bunyan tells us, the pilgrim found the piece of the road back to the Arbour of Ease, where he lost his roll, the hardest he had ever travelled. Twenty miles onward is easier than to go one mile back for the lost evidence.

Take care, then, when you find your Master, to cling close to him. But how is it you have lost him? One would have thought you would never have parted with such a precious friend, whose presence is so sweet, whose words are so comforting, and whose company is so dear to you! How is it that you did not watch him every moment for fear of losing sight of him? Yet, since you have let him go, what a mercy that you are seeking him, even though you mournfully groan, "O that I knew where I might find him!" Go on seeking, for it is dangerous to be without thy Lord. Without Christ you are like a sheep without its shepherd; like a tree without water at its roots; like a withered leaf in the tempest -not bound to the tree that gives it life. With thine whole heart seek him, and he will be found of thee: only give thyself thoroughly up to the search, and verily, thou shalt yet discover him to thy joy and gladness.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Yesterday I was discussing good books with my friend, Becca. She recommended For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. I haven't read this book yet; but I've heard great things about it -from men and women alike. One point Becca found particularly interesting was the results of a survey conducted by the author. I don't know the exact conditions or wording, but the gist was that men were given the option of choosing between a life of loneliness and rejection or a life without respect. An overwhelming majority chose the former. Because of conversations with my brother and pastor, the radio program of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary’s president, Dr. Albert Mohler, and other means I can’t specifically remember right now, this information didn’t really come as a surprise to me. Where women need to be nurtured, men need to be respected.

So why is this blog-worthy? If I’m not mistaken, the book targets romantic relationships between men and women. But as I thought about the matter, I decided that men probably aren’t respected like they should be, regardless of the relational context. This topic of biblical manhood and womanhood has been written about, frequently discussed on Dr. Mohler’s program…and there’s even been an organization created for it. (The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - www.cbmw.org) Obviously, we have some things on which we need to work.

My next thought process was to determine what this means to me. As a single woman, how can I be intentional about showing my brothers in Christ that I respect and love them? Apart from having a cerebral lapse at that moment, I sadly came up with no black and white answers. (And at this point, I haven’t done extensive research, either.) So, brothers, what can we do? As your sisters, how can we love you through our conveyance of respect? I realize your responses may be personal opinions and not general rules for all men; but at least they will give us a point from which to work. It’s not inconceivable to take your personal suggestions and apply them to the brothers with whom we have direct contact, if not yourselves. :)

Maybe I’m being too spontaneous by appealing for your response in this manner. My own dear brother believes matters such as this are best dealt with in “real” relationships, not via the Internet. I whole-heartedly agree with him. However, I also believe there is merit in using technology as one more communication tool. So this endeavor isn’t to replace “real” relationships, merely reinforce them.

All Who Desire to Live Godly Will Suffer Persecution

As I was reading in Matthew 16 one morning last fall, I was a little stunned at Jesus' reaction to Peter in verse 23. He'd just begun sharing how He would suffer and die (v. 21), to which Peter takes Him aside and says, "Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you." And this is Jesus' response, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me."

Why did Jesus give Peter, who He had just called 'blessed' in verse 17, the same rebuke He gave His archenemy, Satan (Mt. 4:10)? As I began to look at the parallels and search a little more, the Holy Spirit showed me that both parties tempted Jesus with the same message: suffering isn't part of your job, avoid it. The devil said (4:8-9), "Worship me, and You won't have to suffer on this earth any longer." And my translation of Peter's words: "Seriously Jesus, You're the Son of God. You're not really gonna suffer and die at the hands of mere men." But suffering and dying are at the core of Jesus' messianic purpose -and He knew it.

“But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD has laid on himthe iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:4-6)

The last words of His rebuke to Peter really convicted me: "For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." How deeply-ingrained the “It’s all about me” mentality is in our lives! Suffering as our Savior suffered can’t really be part of the deal. But Paul’s words to Timothy resonate through the generations to all of us who call God our Lord today, “all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" (2 Tim. 3:12).

Directly after His rebuke to Peter, Jesus tells all His disciples to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow Him. “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (verses 24-26).

Too often I fall into Peter’s boat of setting my mind on the things of man. Too often I react to my struggles with a “woe is me” attitude. But in 2 Timothy we see it is to be expected and in Philippians 1:29 that it is a privilege to suffer for Christ. Our trials also test the genuineness of our faith so that it will be found to “praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7). Furthermore, without trials, without frustrations, without hardships -I would never know what it means to be held in the arms of Jesus.

Trials make the promise sweet, Trials give new life to prayer; Trials bring me to His feet, Lay me low, and keep me there. ~William Cowper, from "Welcome Cross"

I pray that each of you, by the grace and strength of God, can break free of our carnal "woe is me", complaining attitudes in the face of struggles, and turn to the radiant embrace of our Savior.